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Guest Contributor Series: Murder Most Fowl (Or How to Cook a Whole Chicken)

Bea Louis

I want to be Vegan or Vegetarian or Pescatarian.  They all sound so healthy!  However, I can’t seem to get past chicken.  I can do without red meat.  I think about Elsie the Cow and how cute she is and I’m okay with not eating her relatives.  I can even replace her milk with almonds who don’t have big sad eyes!  However, I can’t find anything to replace a beautifully cooked rotisserie chicken or a KFC fried chicken leg or a basket of buffalo chicken wings.  What’s a girl to do?  Cook a chicken.

I’ve got a Crock-Pot, a Pressure Cooker and a Roaster Pan.  So many choices!  I’m busy, so I think I should go with the Pressure Cooker.  The recipe says I just need to use 2 cups of water, cut up a lemon and onion inside the cavity of chicken and place chicken on the trivet in the pressure cooker.  I then set the pressure cooker on high and cook for 6 minutes per pound of chicken.  No, that takes paying attention!  That leaves the Crock-Pot and the Roaster Pan.

Let’s see the instructions for the Roaster Pan – Rinse the chicken, trim the extra fat, fold wings behind the bird’s back for stability in the roaster.  Rub the chicken inside and out with a prepared rub or with salt, pepper and garlic and other seasonings.  Don’t stuff the bird.  Put a stick of celery with some margarine or lemon cut in half in the bird.  Roast fryers under 5 pounds for 15 to 17 minutes per pound and roasters under 8 pounds for 18 to 20 minutes per pound.  Check the bird with a meat thermometer between 20 to 30 minutes before it should be done.  I don’t have a meat thermometer.  And I’m not watching an oven.  No roasted chicken.  My last option is the Crock-Pot.

Instructions:

Take the whole chicken (4 to 6-pound chicken with giblets removed) and rinse it inside and out with water.

Pat dry and set aside.

Mix together seasonings of your choice in a small dish. (Salt, Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic powder, etc.)

Using your fingers, gently lift the skin over the breasts by sliding your fingers up towards the neck to separate the skin and meat.

Rub the spice mixture all over the chicken, over the skin and underneath right onto the breast meat.

Place the chicken in a crockpot on low for 8 hours.

Go to bed.  The chicken will be done when you get up.

Sounds like my kind of recipe!  We’re having Crock-Pot chicken tonight!  However, I’m still looking for a vegetable that tastes like chicken….

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